Alternative Hymns
by Digital-Dragon-Master
Summary: AU [No one else was let in, not even kids my own age. I wouldn't let them. But really... they were all I wanted.] Tear centric fic, details inside.


Author's Notes: Okay, so here's my second Tales of the Abyss fanfiction, and it's quite the tall order! A full-blown AU fanfic already? Yeah, a tad ambitious, but I'll make it work somehow. I warn any newcomers to my readings that I update sparingly because procrastination, school, and my weird social life gets in the way of most things. I just wanted to start this before it sunk away like most ideas I get.

Okay, so this is a total system reset on Tales of the Abyss. It's set in the same kind of universe with the same kind of technology (mostly) and the same terminology and the same places and such, but with some major differences. Character pasts will be referenced to and most storylines in this will be inspired by the game, but I'm taking major creative liberties.

Tear will be the focused character for the majority of the story, if it couldn't be guessed from the summary, but that doesn't mean other characters aren't important. All will get a chance to shine here, but some may take longer than others, especially with Jade, Dist, Nebilim, Peony, and Nephry, mostly because I haven't played that side-quest in the game yet.

Lastly, on the pairings note (because I know there are some who are scared away by pairings), this will be kept as close to canon as possible, but I may throw in some twists. Things that surely will be in here are LukexTear, AschxNatalia, some pending hints of GuyxNatalia (more emphasis on the first), AnisexIon (yeah, Anise-haters, it's here), AriettaxOriginal!Ion (it'll make so much more sense in here), and some hints of VanxLegretta. For the purposes of this fic, Original!Ion will be called Evenos. Trust me, it'll be so much easier and it'll work (somehow).

And, of course, since this gives reference to the entire game, massive spoilers. You can read this if you haven't finished the game, but some things referenced to will most likely not be understood, and of course major things will be spoiled. Just because this is an AU doesn't mean this doesn't have some basis. ;grin;

So, as my long-as-usual author's notes end, I bring you my latest story, _Alternative Hymns_.

"Blah" - speaking

_Blah - _Tear's narration or any character's internal thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss. … Honestly, I'm too tired to come up with a witty saying, so make up your own.

* * *

**Prologue: How Will It End and How It Began**

A bird's gentle song drifted through the half-open hospital window, bringing with it the warmth of the afternoon summer sun. The room held a single person; a young woman with flowing light brown hair sitting up in the white hospital bed. Her lap was occupied by an open laptop. The usually white room was decorated with all kinds of banners sporting 'Get Well Soon!' and 'Feel Better!' types of messages, and closed-Selenia flowers filled every vase. Tables were covered with stuffed creatures like Cheagles and dogs and cats and boars and all sorts of odd looking creatures. At the end of the white hospital bed laid more stuffed creatures, including a crudely sewn liger and an even odder-looking Cheagle doll, and snuggled in the arms of the occupant was a worn rappig doll that was missing a button-eye. The woman frowned as she bent over the laptop and stared at its mocking blank screen. Her fingers danced over the keys, but not a single character appeared on the document in front of her.

It was times like these where she wished Guy hadn't even bought the thing for her in the first place.

Her not-so-deep concentration was broken by a small tapping on the door. The visitor didn't wait for a reply but instead pushed into the room and stuck a red-haired head through the crack.

"Knock, knock, knock." The young man at the door grinned slightly as he pushed the door completely open. "Can I come in?"

The young woman smiled and straightened her hunched shoulders. "Would you really listen if I told you no?"

"Would you expect me to believe it if you did?" The young man shot back playfully.

The patient chuckled softly. "Yes, Luke, you can come in."

Luke grinned and stepped over the threshold and into the room, closing the door behind him. He walked over to the bed and plunked himself down in a chair next to it, pulling himself as close as he could. "How're you feeling today, Tear?" His expression was a mix of affection and concern.

Tear half-frowned trying to find a suitable answer. "The same as always I suppose." Luke's face fell a little, but he put on an encouraging look nevertheless. Tear glanced around for a second and frowned. "No Mieu today?"

Luke shook his head. "He wore himself out last night with all his worrying and hardly got any sleep. I tried to get him up this morning, but, he just wouldn't wake up. Sorry."

"That's alright," Tear responded. "He needs his rest."

Luke nodded and bit his lip uncomfortably. "Sorry I didn't come sooner. Had some problems with my parents again, you know?" Oh, Tear knew. She also knew by 'parents' he meant 'father', because it was never Mrs. Fabre who gave her son a hard time when it came to the young Seventh Fonist, oh no. "I would've been here hours ago if I was able to avoid that lecture again…"

"Its fine," Tear assured him softly. "You can't do anything about it."

Luke sighed. "Yeah, I guess… Only six more months… Then I can do whatever I want without them looking over my shoulder." An uneasy silence fell over the room as it usually did when the Noble started discussing his family. Luke was the one to break it, like usual. "So, ah, anyone else come earlier?" He asked far-too-casually.

Tear shook her head. "Only you today. I think Natalia said she and Anise would drop by yesterday, but I'm not sure when."

"Oh." He spied the open laptop. "I didn't interrupt anything, did I…?" His head tilted ever-so-slightly to the right so he could get a peak at the screen, but Tear shut it swiftly.

"No," She replied with a pointed look, "Nothing important." Luke's probing eyes made her add in a softer tone, "Really."

Luke hesitated a moment, but nodded after casting a suspicious glance at the portable computer. He moved on to a slightly-more-troubling topic. "The doctors know anything else yet?"

Tear rolled her eyes. "You asked me that yesterday too, you idiot, less than twenty-four hours ago."

"Well, you never know." Luke shot back defensively. "I mean, twenty-four hours is a long time. It only takes a moment to make a medical breakthrough, right?"

Tear rolled her eyes again, this time shooting him a teasing look as well. "You idiot."

The two of them went on talking about normal occurrences such as how horrible the hospital dinners were and how they still thought it was actually alive, but ultimately deciding it wasn't the worst one could eat ("At least Jade didn't make anything," Luke had noted). Tear only glanced at the clock a few times, but each was much later than the last. Before long, it was already 10 o'clock and time for all visitors to go home. As it turned out, Anise had caught some sort of bug and had to stay home, and Natalia had a sudden emergency come up with her Father that she couldn't go into much detail over, so Luke and Tear had spent the entire day talking.

"You'll be back tomorrow?" Tear asked, trying to hide the hopefulness from her voice as the young man was being ushered out of her room.

Luke turned to her and smirked softly. "Do you really have to ask?"

Tear smiled. "Good night, Luke."

"Good night, Tear," Luke responded as the nurse reminded him he had to leave. "And sweet dreams," he added as the door closed behind him.

Alone again, Tear sighed and leaned into the fluffy pillows. The rappig doll in her arms almost disappeared as she cuddled it. She then opened the laptop again and resumed her earlier staring contest, trying to see what she could do to make it blink.

Where to begin, oh where to begin? Her mind rushed and raced and just couldn't settle on a suitable starting point.

She sighed inaudibly. "Where's a better place to begin than the beginning…"

Her fingers aligned themselves and, with memories filling her head, she began to type…

* * *

_**19 years ago…**_

_My first memories aren't anything major._

A baby's soft cry broke through the silence. She lay in her crib, groping the air for a familiar face.

_There was myself…_

Three blurry silhouettes floated through the baby's view, one small and two big.

_… and there were three other people._

The smallest of the three stepped closer to the crib and revealed a young boy behind it. He peered down with a dark blue gaze from what seemed to be miles away. His brown sandy hair dangled down by his chin as he leaned down to stare closer at the baby. His face was slightly blurred, but the curious expression of a child could easily be seen.

_The first, my brother Van, is the clearest of these memories._

"Mom!" He turned and called over his shoulder. "Something's wrong with her again!"

A feminine chuckle entered the baby's ears and her crying grew softer. One of the big shadows morphed into a tall woman with shoulder-length sandy brown hair. Her face was dark and shadowed, and all that could be seen of it were her nose, eyes, and mouth. Her comforting sky-blue eyes made the child stretch her arms and gurgle. The woman reached down and lifted the baby into her arms, holding her close.

She withdrew a bright, new stuffed rappig doll from a pocket in her dress and gave it to the baby, making her giggled with delight. "Is this what you wanted, my little Tear?" The baby cooed in response.

_The second is Mother. Her features are shady, but I'll never forget the caring looks and warm smiles she always adorned. I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love someone._

The last shadow walked up next to the woman and the baby reached out for it. It took hold of the baby's small finger and smiled, but it remained dark, only its mouth visible to the child.

He put a hand on the boy's head and ruffled his hair. "And how's my big boy doing?" The boy chuckled in response, grinning widely.

_Father is the last and the one that's the haziest. All I can recall of him is his playful smile and loving voice. That's all._

_And that's all I need._

_We lived on the island of Hod, a happy place where everyone seemed to know each other. We were a normal happy family for nearly a year- thirteen whole months of bliss. Snapshots of family picnics and gatherings line those times, with laughter and joy filling every moment. I remember wanting it to never end._

_It did._

The shadowed man answered the ringing phone with a smile. "Hello, Fende residence… Why, Mr. Fabre, hi! I wasn't expecting your- … … Well, yes, I can, but how long will it- I know sir, but see, it's my daughter's first birthday in a few weeks. … Yes, I know your sons will be having their birthdays soon, too, but- …" He sighed. "Yes, sir, I'll make sure to be there." He hung up the phone and turned to see wife and son starting at him, his daughter in his wife's arms.

"Dear?" The woman asked as Tear giggled softly. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, Mr. Fabre's calling another short-notice business meeting…" The shadowed man replied. "I'll be leaving tomorrow morning."

"But Tear's birthday-!" His wife started, gesturing to the child in her arms.

"I know, I know," The man cut her off. He frowned for a moment, but then walked over and held his wife close. "I'll be back in time, I promise."

Van blinked and titled his head. "Daddy?" He asked.

The man walked over to his son and smiled, ruffling his hair softly. "You'll be the man of the house again while I'm gone, got that, Van?"

He stared at his father in admiration and nodded. "Yes, sir!"

_Maybe if he hadn't been trying to get back so hard, it wouldn't have happened._

Little Tear grinned and stumbled as she tottered across the carpet-covered room. A colorful banner hung on the wall behind her reading 'Happy Birthday Tear!' and presents sat on a table near a chair her brother occupied.

"That's right, sweetie," her mother cooed, "come to Mommy."

"Mommy!" Tear replied with a grin and a giggle. She stumbled as she did, however, and landed on her behind, blinking slightly.

Her mother laughed softly and was about to help her daughter to her feet, but the phone started to ring and she stood to answer it. "Van, help your sister, alright?" She walked into the kitchen, the room where the ringing was coming from.

The young boy got up from his chair and nodded. "'Kay!" He ran over to Tear and pulled her to her feet.

He could hear his mother's formal tone as she answered the phone. "Hello, Fende residence, Mrs. Fende speaking."

"Van!" Tear cried, hugging her older brother around his legs, mostly to keep her balance.

Van beamed down at his sister and backed away from her when she let go. "Okay, so let's try this again…" Just as he reached his arms out to her, a loud thud came from the other room where his mother was. He instantly forgot about his sister and ran to the doorway, seeing his mother standing in the middle of the room with the phone at her feet. "Mom? Mom, what's wrong?"

He was vaguely aware that his sister was staggering up behind him, grabbing the back of his shirt for support. She blinked in confusion and looked at her mother. "…Mommy?"

The woman's eyes were glazed over with tears and she looked to her children. A masculine voice was coming from the other side of the phone, asking if she was alright, but Tear didn't think her mother could hear it. She almost stumbled as she walked toward her children and the liquid in her eyes began to fall.

"Oh, my babies… My precious, little children…" She collapsed next to them and drew the two into a hug, but not the normal happy-hug Tear was used to. This one was … sad.

"… Mommy…?" Tear asked one last time, her own eyes beginning to water.

_Father was dead. He died in a car crash while trying to get home in time for my birthday. It was storming. He was careless. He died on impact._

The wake was dull and slow, and Tear could barely tell what was going on. Her mother was crying her eyes out, weeping into the shoulder of another woman, but her brother just stood with a blank expression, staring at the body of their father. She remembered asking 'Daddy wake up?' several times, but never got an answer.

Her mother greeted the guests even as she sobbed. An old man showed up during this time and hugged her tightly. "Teodoro… So good to see you…" She murmured.

"I'll help in any way I can…" The man replied softly.

Tear's attention was drawn by a blond boy a few years older than herself trying to stand on his tip-toes to see her father sleeping. He grabbed the side of the casket and pulled, but a girl probably ten years older than him or more pulled him down. "Don't do that! It's rude!" The boy frowned at her touch and shifted uncomfortably. She pulled him gently by the hand and murmured soft comforting words that Tear couldn't hear. She wished her brother would do that for her again…

Most of the other guests blurred together and appeared without faces, offering empty words and condolences, but one family seemed to stick out.

"Oh, Suzanne… I'm so glad you came…"

Tear peered around her mother's leg to see a red-haired woman greeting her mother.

"I'm so sorry… If there's anything we can do…" She gestured to a red-haired man besides her and Tear's eyes fell upon two red-haired boys a little taller than herself next to him. One had an indifferent sort of look on his face, but was frowning sadly up at his father, and the other's green eyes seemed slightly glazed over, as if he just woke up from a nap.

"No, no… I couldn't possible ask you for anything…"

Tear didn't remember the rest of the conversation and the family left soon after the arrived. The boys were pushed from her mind by the later realization that her father wasn't coming back.

_The happy family was gone. We moved to Yulia City, another island. This one didn't seem as friendly as Hod. My mother took on two jobs to support us, and my kind brother disappeared, leaving a hardened bitter teenager in his place. He snapped at me at every chance he could get and drifted away from my mother. As he grew older, he stayed out later and some times even didn't come home at all. He was headed down a dark path at the age of thirteen, and by fifteen he was almost too far gone to be saved._

A four-year-old Tear cried as she stood over her rappig doll its right button-eye laying separated from its face.

"Argh, stop _crying_!" Van's loud roar of a yell snapped the child from her sobs.

She hicced softly as she looked at her brother. "B-but Van... Buushi's eye-"

Her brother groaned in irritation. "It's a stupid doll!" He scowled down on her at her with a glared. "Grow up." Tear whimpered and started to cry again, which only made her brother angrier. "And stop all that crying! Crying's for the weak, got it? You wanna be strong? Then stop all that stupid crying and grow up." He stomped past her, muttering something about stupid little kids.

Tear sniffed softly, but tried hard to hold back the coming tears. She wouldn't cry. She would be strong. She'd show her brother; she would be strong.

_I was five when it all went wrong._

Van grumbled as he sat in science class. He was ignoring the teacher's boring lecture- probably something about the relation of fon signatures to matter or something like that- he didn't care.

He hated it there. He hated his stupid family and his stupid school and everyone always saying they "understood" him when they really didn't. He just couldn't wait until he was twenty and he could finally get out of that hell hole he called home. He'd been staying at a "friend's" house for the last few weeks because he couldn't bear to even go back there.

"… elca Fende?"

Van blinked and looked up, realizing someone was talking to him. "Vandesdelca Fende, are you listening to me?" The teacher stared down at him, her eyes holding a look of concern and pity rather than anger. He _hated_ it when they looked like that. He decided not to answer. The teacher sighed. "Van, you're wanted in the principle's office. Take all of your things with you."

"Why?" Van grumbled under his breath, but didn't expect the teacher to answer. Instead, he grabbed his backpack and left the room, slamming the door as he left. "Stupid teachers, always giving me those looks…" He grumbled under his breath.

When he reached the principles office, he expected there to be the police or something, trying to pin something on him that he didn't do… again. Instead, however, there was a man in a white suit and coat conversing with the principle. He turned to him when he came in.

"Are you Vandesdelca Fende?" The man asked in a kind-of-formal voice.

"Yeah, why?" Van asked, slightly annoyed, but also slightly unnerved. For some reason, something seemed… off…

"… Something's… happened.

_Mother was dying._

_There was no way to stop it._

"Let me in! Let me see her!" Van burst into his mother's hospital room. Tear stood at the door behind him, watching him push passed doctors and nurses. He ran to their mother's bedside and her eyes opened slowly.

"… Van? … Oh, my boy… You've come to see Mommy, have you?" She whispered so softly Tear could barely hear her. Her voice had gotten worse since she'd last talked to her, too.

"Mom…" Van's voice trembled. "Oh, Mom, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh… It's okay…" The weak woman soothed. "It's okay…"

Tear was ushered away from the room by a kind nurse who had been taking care of her while her mother had been in the hospital. As she left, she could hear her brother's earnest words of "I'll take care of her for you, Mom, I promise I will…"

_Van stayed around the hospital the next few days, and his constant worried talk confused me. I thought Mother was going to get better soon._

_I was wrong._

Tear sat next to Van in the chairs outside their mother's room, swinging her legs back and forth. The doctors were in there, doing some work on their mother.

"… Van?" She asked hesitantly. "When can we go home?"

She was answered by a soft series of beeps and rapid murmurs from the room. Van stood up suddenly and stared at the door, eyes wide. He was trembling.

The minutes crept by and Van's expression grew more and more apprehensive. Tear was starting to wonder what he was waiting for when the door creaked open and a doctor walked out. His face was filled with grief and sympathy. Van shook his head slightly in disbelief.

"No… It's not…" He stammered in disbelief, his eyes wide and glossy. The doctor put a hand on his shoulder and murmured something in his ear (Tear couldn't hear what) before walking passed him and down the hall.

Van turned to his sister and stared at her bemused expression. "Tear…" He walked toward her and knelt so they were eye level. "… Mystearica…"

Tear frowned. Van _never_ called her by her full name, not even when he was angry with her. "Van? What's wrong? Did I do something wrong again?" Tear suddenly found herself in her brother's tight embrace, something she hadn't felt since before her father died. "… Van?" She suddenly realized that her back was getting wet and craned her neck back as far as it could go to see Van crying. "Why are you crying, Van? You're not supposed to do that, you're supposed to be strong." He pulled her closer to him and she realized something was wrong with her brother. She wrapped her slender arms around his neck and smiled softly. "Don't worry, Van. I can be strong for both of us now, okay? You don't have to anymore."

His only response was a hushed vow. "I'll take care of you, Tear… I promise. I'll take care of you…"

_I don't know when I figured out that Mother was dead like Father (thought it was probably at the wake), but life after I did was never the same. Van and I moved one final time, this time to a small town right outside of the Kimlasca-Lanvaldear capital of Baticul. In later years, I learned that Mother wanted her old friend Teodoro Grants to take care of us, but Van insisted he could do so himself. Teodoro was made our legal guardian, but he didn't live with us, nor did we live with him. Van changed our last name to 'Grants', though. I asked him why a few times, but he never answered. I think it was his way of starting our relationship as brother and sister over; he wanted a new life for _both_ of us._

_In Mother's will, Van and I received almost everything, but there was one item she left specifically to me: a sparkling just-barely-red pendent. I treasured it like it was my only connection to the life we were leaving behind._

_My world slowly began to consist of few things and people. There was Van, of course, and there was my new passion for the Selenia flowers that we planted when we reached our new home… and there was Buushi, of course. Van's friend Major Legretta later became my idol._

_But no one else was let in, not even kids my age. I wouldn't let them._

_If they got close and they went away like Mother and Father, I don't think I would've been able to handle it anymore._

_But really… they were all I wanted._

* * *

A/N: Well, I hope that was up to snuff… I know that Van was probably out of character, but I'm taking certain things into account (i.e., parental death at young age), and it was mentioned that Van was a very bitter child because of the Score; I just needed a new catalyst to set off Van's personality. I also remembered the fact that Tear said she loved her brother and he was very loving in return. As I've discussed with members of the Tales of forum, we never really _saw_ much of Van's love, so he may come off as a little … out of character. I'm just fleshing out his character in my own ways. Also, Tear's italics are sort of like narration, and they're the only things she is really typing. The rest is more like a memory that we can view, like something you would see in a television show. I honestly tried to make this as visible as possible. 

Last but not least, I'd like to know if anyone wants the job of beta-reader. Just tell me in your review and such and I'll PM the person I pick.

Oh, and please review! I'm eager to hear what you guys think of this so far!

Digital-Dragon-Master

"Digi-Dragon"


End file.
